Friendship Parenting Style
I want to say that today’s speech is all my own ideas. And these are all based on my own experience in my childhood.
So today I would like to share the method of friendship parenting style completely from children’s angle of view.
Here are the 4 types of parenting concluded by the experts.
Here are the images of 4 parenting
You can see…
These seems right. But I think parenting cannot be defined like this.
For years, parents were told that being an authoritative parent was the way to go, but with emergence of different parenting styles like yes parenting, attachment parenting, and free-range parenting, that line between being a parent and a friend is becoming less and less clear. So, should parents be friends with their child?
My answer is YES. Completely YES.
My family is just like this. My parents and I are always friends. They hardly take real actions to limit me from doing anything. No real actions, but they do offer me plenty of advise, in an easygoing way, just like the best friend does. Yes, I did suffer a little, addicted to games for days, but I always manage things by myself, making progress step by step.
So what is an ideal family environment?
NO poke, violent, blame, only persuade.
YES They are so young, but they are still humans. Be respectful to them.
Don’t say the reasons.
Things like “It is good for you”
“you will understand it when you grow up”
If they do understand, it is alright. But Children can’t always understand reasons. What you did probably have a huge influence on them in the future, so don’t just——Give it a try, you cannot afford that.
And also, just don’t say “It helps you, follow me to learn more things”. The formation of their value is the most important thing, and what useful is not what you said, it is what you behave.
Moreover, the first thing is how much kids accept your ideas, and then is what is your ideas about.
Commands and informs bring everything negative. That includes Misunderstand, complains, and all of these lead to conflicts, which makes a terrible family environment.
As for me, I accept the tone of asking, sharing and, suggestions more than commands and informs, I think the majority would be the same.
For parents, don’t think you are special, just try to make children understand what you think.
Create own space for them
Everybody needs boundaries, even a child just in elementary school.
Own space brings the sense of safety.
Most importantly, Make your children respect you.
It human’s instinct to make comparisons. Family is nothing special, while parents have not so many essentials. If the family makes children uncomfortable, they would stay away from it. It is a simple question, and every parents should be clear about that. For kids, feelings are the most persuadable aspect to compare things. Under this theory, everything is equal.
However, in the opposite, comparison can also make thing better. For me, when I realized how free I was, I was really grateful to my parents. I respect them much and try my best not to prove their teaching method is wrong. I don’t want to make them disappointed.
When respect is formed, the relationship becomes stronger and stronger.
When I search this topic on internet, I saw some arguments about it.
Too young to control themselves?
That’s not a problem. We are looking at others all the time.
Take myself as an example, I am very clear what other strict parents do to my friends. Then I started to think why they do that, is it questionable? If not, and some points is beneficial, I would think how can I get it done by myself.
Someone argue that friendship parenting style cause the Loss of Authority. And that harms children’s growth and how they communicate with teachers and elders
Totally not agree with that.
The respect between friends is enough. I think that’s the most healthy and stable relationship. Respect each other makes people barrier-free communicating. In my opinion, many respect between the elders and the youth is abnormal. Perhaps it is not appropriate when we get older, and also in the future society.
And next point, teachers, come on——, there is no good teacher would ask for that kind of staleness respects. In my school life. Teachers are just like classmates, making jokes at each other. Sending emojis on WeChat. Everybody is get used to it.
So, don’t worry about that.
At last, what I wanna to say is that I love my mom and thank her for thinking in children’s shoes. If I have a child in the future, I will give my kids enough respects, adequate space and try to make friends with them.